Two years ago in September of 2015, I made a commitment to myself to focus on working in a disciplined and serious way in the studio for an entire year. I also intended to record the journey in writing, inspired by Anne Truitt’s Daybook. I did not have expectations of the outcome, only hope that I would grow as an artist and heal as a human. The year came and went and here I am rounding out the second year since making that promise.
I have learned A LOT not only about being in the studio, but how facing the canvas regularly as a practice and all the things that come up in that process relates to life and no doubt brings healing. It’s a serious laying of the self at the altar. A sacrifice of the resistance and bullshit to a true calling–something creative and life-affirming. I haven’t shared much of the experience yet because many things in my personal life needed to come full circle and rest.
Anyway, here’s an early little gem from the journal:
It’s such a terribly messy and roundabout process to resolve a painting once started. I sometimes go through despair and feel terrible about the hopelessness of the situation I have initiated. There is no knowing how it will turn out. There are awful mistakes and ugly ugly things that happen along the way. But at some point–if I keep at it–it starts to come together and something coherent arises. A thing that tells me the truth. And it might tell someone else the truth too. And if it does, then I feel some measure of peace. Then I start another painting.”
I’ll share some other writings here for a little while. We’ll see where it goes…
I finished the painting above recently. It took over 2 months to resolve. It’s a culmination of many influences visually, spiritually, and personally.
ALYSON KHAN [blog] 